spank

I was just reading in the paper this morning that the spanking topic is in the news...again. Apparently people cannot decide whether or not spanking children as a form of punishment is acceptable. There were quotes from some liberal politician claiming that "spanking has no positive effects on children, and that it is borderline 'abuse', and an archaic style of punishment." It also added that kids who are spanked are less smart, and have all this emotional baggage to carry with them through the rest of there lives. And I can agree that in the hands of the wrong parent, children may be put through indecent physical harm, I do not agree that spanking should be banned altogether.

As a person who was spanked by my parents as a child, I commend them for doing now that I am an adult. I believe that kind of discepline most definatly contributes to how you function as a growing adult. As a child I was taught that when I did somthing unfavourable there is consequences that do not feel very good (spanking). As you go through life, making decisions and either reaping the benefits from them, or getting hurt by them, you are making that cognitive connection between right and wrong. I feel that I made good choices in my life, and I owe it to my parents for teaching me that there is consequences for making the wrong decision. And sometimes yes, you have to push the boundries to see what will burn you, but you learn from that. You learn how soceity functions: If I do somthing wrong, someone will find out and I will be punished.

I would love to hear these politicians alternative punishment strategies.

Time out in your room? (probably the dumbest punishment ever. its basically: "go to your room, where all your toys are, play, and forget what you did wrong.")

Taking privledges away from the child? (this works, but only for a temporary time it seems. Because you know eventually, you will give back the privledge and the cycle will repeat itself.

The truth is, people of all stages of life, young and old, respond to PHYSICAL punishment. You could acciedently touch a live wire when you are doing some work in the basement, and learning from that mistake, and turn the power off next time. There won't be too many times that you will make that mistake again. Its much like the study Dr. J.B. Watson conducted with the little boy, Albert. In the study, the boy was placed in a room with a Teddy bear, and every time the boy would touch the teddy, he would get a little zap. Time after time he would get zapped, and eventually he would not care to have the teddy anymore, because he associated it with pain. And even though this study may have different objects and characters, the outcome is similar to spanking as a consequence. You do somthing wrong, and you associate that action with the outcome: pain. You murder someone, and you should associate its outcome with going to jail for a very long time.

Physical punishment, rather then a mental punishment, is immediate and teaches children from a young age that with every bad decision they make, has an immediate consequence. I think that taking spanking out of the parents hands (no pun intended), will only hurt our growing society. People are only looking at the basic "threat", and that is that children are getting hurt. Though I do sympathize with the children that are being abused, I believe the real problem is that without punishment like spanking, children will grow up with a distorted view on how the world and society works. However, some see it the opposite way, and that spanking children is to blame for their bad behavior as an adult. The dissagreement continues...

Deservedness

The thought that one is owed, or deserves something, anything, in life is nonsensical.

Every person believes that they do not deserve affliction upon their life, in anyway. They do not believe that life is "fair" and that what has been bestowed upon them is unjust. Sickness, pain, death, and imperfect life situations are thought to be someone else's burden. They also believe that good things should happen for them, and that life should go according to their vision.

The truth is, we don't deserve anything good in our lives at all. Anything we do obtain that is fruitful in this life, is through love of one another, and of God. So how can people choose to think that they have a right to something in their life without God? He is life, and without Him we have nothing, and are no one, and deserve nothing but what the world lends us. Believing that you deserve food, shelter, money, clothes, cars, and anything else special, is naive. God has given those things to you, because he trusts that you will take care of these things, and do good for your neighbour with them. Its really not all about possessions, although they are a big part of life, its about being content with everything God has given you. That is somthing that I, and almost everyone else in this modern world struggle with: having enough. Understanding that God has a purpose for you in your life, the way you are and with the tools (skills, characteristics, possessions) you need, is an important thing to grasp. Without that concept we are solely relying on ourselves and that belief goes no where. So instead of thinking about things that are not fair, or that you deserve somthing in life, try to think about what you can do for someone else with the abilities you have.

We all deserve death for our in-born imperfections and the things we do to others and to God, but through what Jesus has done on the cross for us, the sting of death has no grip upon our lives. Living with the perspective that God has placed you in your situation for a reason, will change your perspective on deservedness.

Mid-worship interupter

Just saw this a church this morning. Someone was minding their own business, hands in the air- eyes closed, during the worship segment of the chruch service. And this other guy, who I'm assuming is a friend of the worshiper, comes up behind him and rubs his head, in kind of a playful manner. Honestly, how is that an ok thing to do? Even if you are friends, I find that offesnsive. Obviously worshiping is not important enough not to interupt someone in mid-praise. People like that piss me off. And then that head rubber went up to the alter for prayer. I was thinking I should have went up there and rubbed his head and see how embarresed he would have been. Trust me, its the same principle.

Goat-ee maddnes

What is this nomad patch of hair? Really, like I can understand the mustache, it has some historical relevence, tonnes of people have them, but a goatee, what is up with this thing? Its a hybrid of a mustache and a beard really, its in no man's land. I think if you can't commit to a beard, which is the most popular facial hair right now, you shouldn't have anything on your face. The thing is, is that, people are actually taking the time to trim, and groom them, to look like that. Its modeling what Goats have I assume? Why else would they call them that? and why would you want to be associated with a barn yard animal? I don't think I've ever met someone with a goatee that made me think that it looked good enough to compliment on. I think I make a point to compliment beards though, because I can't grow a decent one. Although, I would rather grow a bad beard, than have a really "nice" goatee. I can kind of see why bald guys have goatees. If a bald guy had a beard, what is it really connecting to? The goatee is self contained on its own place on the face. The beard is really kind of relying on the top of the head having hair. If a bald guy had a beard, it would be like the reverse of a guy with hair having a clean shaven face. Are you seeing what I'm saying here? However, the clean shaven look is more acceptable in modern society than the upside down face of a bald-bearded man.

Dog Park Morons

I have a dog, his name is Bently, and I know everyone says this about their dog, but seriously, your dog sucks compared to mine. He's cute, he's athletic, he's affectionate, he's just all out awesome as far as dogs are concerned. I take him to the dog park to play fetch, he loves it. I have one of those ball thrower thingy's you see people have, those are cool too.

Here's what I am getting to. I go there to run the dog, so he gets exercised and tired, because you don't won't a crazy dog in the house. But there are these people there that just bring there dogs, with no ball, no anything, and they just run rampant in the park in complete anarchy. These dogs then run after Bently's ball, and completly ruin the whole experience for both me and my dog. The dogs grab the ball, and run away with it, and I'm like screw off. I'm not mad at the dogs, its not there fault, this is about STUPID dog owners. If you know your dog likes to play fetch... BRING YOUR OWN BALL. I actually had a woman thank me for running her dog in the park for her. I'm like, wtf? I know most people would tell me to relax, its just dogs, but there are boundries people. Social dog park codes that humans should abide by. There is only a few: Pick up there shit, and bring your own ball. If you are reading this and you don't bring your dog a ball to the park, you are un-smart. If your dog has no interest in balls and would rather walk beside you and not bother me, my dog, or other dogs, that's fine. I'm talking about those dipshit dogs that jump on people and steal hard-working canadians tennis balls, right out of their dogs mouth. It's insanity. Things need to change.

What have we come to?

Last night while on our way to the movies, my wife and I were walking down the street towards the theatre. On our way, we passed someone who was about to, what we think, ask for money. He looked dirty, and distraught, and we passed right by him like he was not there. Litteraly, almost right through him, no eye contact, nothing.

I have to ask myself, who the hell do I think I am? If you're thinking I'm a terrible person, and that you would have given him $20.00 and sent him on his way, you're lying, or you're awesome. To be at place where you can just walk right by someone who is gently asking you for something, and not think anything of it, like they are non-existent, is somewhat a scary perspective.

We all do it. Look through the needy, the helpless, because we believe someone else is taking care of them. In truth, probably no one is looking out for them, that is why they have resorted to begging in the first place. If they had a helping hand, they would not be in this situation.

Yes, It crosses my mind when I do give my spare change to a bum: He is using this money to buy drugs. In alot of cases this is true, and I don't agree with fueling someone's addiction. But where do you draw the line between helping someone out, and enabling them?

I guess If I knew for certain that someone was hungry and did not have enough money to eat, I would give them money to buy a meal or two. But that's the thing, you don't know. Most of them would rather you just give them money then buy them lunch. They are looking for a fix, not a meal, that is all they are foccused on, it has consumed them.

So, what do you do? its hard to say. No one can go out and buy all the poor people lunch everyday. And giving them money may just be enabling them to continue their downward spiral. You can't enroll all these people in detox center's, they wouldn't want to go. And why should they? After the detox is done, then what? Drugs are only a part of the problem, it would have to be an overall life detox. Someone will continue on a path, whether it be rightous and good, or evil, until somthing or someone changes that course with them. They would slide back into what they know best, drugs.

Assuming that the church is taking care of the needy, is juevenile. Assuming that somone, anywhere is helping, is stupid. Obviously the question has been asked thousands of times, how can we help the hungry, the poor, the suffering? But no one really has a general answer. I'm not saying that I'm out there changing the world, in fact, like most people I'm part of the ongoing problem. Looking on in the moment of someone's needs.

I guess it comes down to: (which it always does) the individual. Simple choices and acts can change someone's life before an organized movement forms and takes action. Look upon the situation and use your discretion. Can I spare my money, clothes, food, or time to someone? In most cases the answer is yes. Hurt is everywhere, I'm sure you can find it.

My name is an Enigma apparently.

I'll start my first ever blog by saying that I've never really been a fan of blogging. I thought it was a fairly self indulgent and pretentious act. Although I enjoy reading and commenting on other people's blog's, I never had the urge to start my own, until now. Nothing really significant happend in my life to want to start blogging. However, every so often I would come to a place in a real life conversation with someone, and feel the things I were saying were "over the line". Don't you hate that? Seriously, when someone tells me I've "gone too far" it makes my insides die. The person saying it is, what, above you in some way? The thing you said was so low that they could not even fathom coming up with a response other than: "dude, that was too far." Although this is kind of off topic, these are the kind of ideas that go through my head all the time, and this blog will be moderatly peppered with this kind of material.

In a nut shell, I wanted to have a place where I could speak my mind without the standard social "borders" that I face in everday life. That's basically why any one starts a blog really, so its nothing new.

So my name has a story behind it. It was given passed on to me from my mother's late first husband, who is my bioligical father's brother. Merrill (Brother, late husband) died in an explosion, if you can imagine that. Not many people can say they know of someone who died in an actual explosion, so I figure that's pretty crazy right off the bat right? Anyway, after he died, a few years later my dad did the most biblical thing you could do: marry your late brother's wife. They had my two older sisters, and then me. My dad wanted to have a son to bond with. I can't say I had the most ideal characteristics for him: I'm not all that smart, I'm fairly artistic, and I'm "outgoing". If you knew my dad, these would all be polar opposites to his personality. Anyway, they named me Merrill in rememberance of the late Merrill.

That's where it all started. The name. The curse if you will. As a little boy, the last thing you wanted your name to rhyme with is girl. And whamo, you're thrown into a pit of poor jingles that bash your name with comparrisons to girl's, squirells and the act of twisting and twirling with both of them. Trust me it's a nightmare; you go thank your mother for your name right now.

My life has not gained from my name being Merrill, at all. I'm not saying a name is supposed to bring certain privledges, but honestly, it shapes who you are. If you like yourself, your name most likely isn't Merrill, it's probably Zack, or John, or somthing one syllable that cannot get confused with anything humorous.

These are just a few confrontations:

When meeting someone for the first time, in a crowd ambient setting, I am gaurenteed to have to say my name at least 2-3 times before someone hears it. Something like this: Person "hi, name's Chad" and then I say "Hi; Merrill"..."what's that?"....."um, Merrill"......"earl?"...... "no, MERRILL". this happens frequently.

While buying a cellphone, the prick saleskid asked if my mom was a co-signer on my account (thinking her name was Merrill).

The doctor walks in to the room and says "ok, 'meryl'....and...streep" looking at me and then my wife. (what is wrong with you? seriously, to be at a place in your life when you think it is ok to come into a room, with a complete stranger, make a negative comment about their name, and think that, "yes, that is a clever thing to say....I will say this and be happy with its out come.., I am confident in my actions, and will say things to people, regardless of its outcome."

Tellemarketers, just don't even bother trying to say my name, you're obviously incompetant, just say nothing.

While buying frozen yogurt, they ask for your name to write on the cup because they are ridicously slow at making it and can't keep up with demand. First, I have to spell my name out, you remember,: "earl?"....no, M E R R I L L. then they just write it with one L at the end. What is wrong with you? seriously, I said two L's, you just didn't have it in you to add that last one on there? Its pure laziness.) then I'm waiting for the frozen yogurt, and then the girl with the first of the two yogurts I purchased, turns and has the most PUZZELED look on her face, like my name is written in Hebrew, and barely utters my name and passes it on. The second yogurt, which was made by a different girl, turns and attempts to say my name " muh....muh-errrr, I don't know how to say this..." Either our education system is not teaching language in our schools anymore, or there is just some genuinely dumb people, which there is for sure.

These are just a few instances that I can remember off the top of my head, and If I think of anymore, or if it happens again (which it will) I will be sure to add it to this list.